Maximum Carnage, Year 2 Issue 20 - "Blood Red, part 1" by Justin Anderson Thursday, April 28th. 3:44 PM. Mammoth Caves, Kentucky They ran after him. He was Joseph Voorhees, brother of Keegan Voorhees. A known kidnapper and child seller. Formerly, at least. He was shut down by a team of vigilantes known as Maximum Carnage. Well, vigilantes in the official sense. Unofficially, they are NSA Agents. They go in and take care of the stuff the NSA, CIA, FBI, and local law enforcement can't. And today, they were about to take another cause down. Joseph had decided to go into his brother's business. But it just went falling towards the ground. His facilities destroyed, his assistants killed, the children rescued. All he could do was run, into these caves, and hope he wasn't found. "THERE!" He looked back to see the two who had done this. The red haired man trailing behind, the one in the black coat quickly catching up to him. But he was at the mouth of a cave. The darkness would surely hide him. He ran in. His attackers chasing after him in the darkness. Jack watched his step. The cave was lit, but not too well. The echoes of their prey could be heard forward. "Okay, Cletus, just follow me. This guy isn't too bright. He makes his brother look like Einstein. He'll slip up. You hold him, I'll drug him" "Right" They kept pressing on. The echoes had stopped, a good sign he has near. They had turned the corner, the lights growing dimmer. They crept on, checking for any spaces a body could hide. But there were none. The cave surface changed to a smooth black material. Both men had a bad feeling. This shouldn't be happening. They looked back to see the turn in the path missing. "Jack...." "...I know, Clete. Just.....keep going...." They continued forward, Jack pointing his shotgun in front, ready to take down anything that moved. Something did move, but not a living creature. It was the surface. The walls changed color, shape, and texture. Finally, a bright flash of light blinded them. 3:48 PM(not that it matters in space) Rimmer stood in front of the mirror, admiring his haircut. "Holly, make my hair just a slight bit shorter" In a flash, his haircut shortened. No one had touched it. But the silver "H" on his forehead told us what was going on. He wasn't human. He was a hologram. Incapable of touching physical objects, eating, smelling, or feeling pain, he was composed of light. A being brought to life from brain records of the man he was based on- Second Technician Arnold J. Rimmer. Two more men walked in. One was dressed in a stained shirt and pants, the other in a fancy wardrobe. "Listy! So, what do you think of the new haircut?" Dave Lister simply stare in disbelief. "New haircut? It looks the same as it did before, ya smeghead!" "Lister, Lister.....you never did appreciate a true, distinguished haircut, did you?" "What? It's a smeggin' micron shorter! You act like it's an accomplishment or some smeg!" Cat shook his head. "Goal-post head does it again! He has that amazing power to annoy, and he uses it so well. I wanna strangle him already!" "Oh, shut up, both of you. I don't know why I bother sometimes" Holly's face appeared on the view screen. "Sorry to interrupt, dudes, but something strange just happened in the drive room. I can't tell what, some sort of portal or something. Strangest thing I've ever seen" Rimmer turned away from Holly. "FAN-SMEGGING-TASTIC! Now we have strange dimensional portals opening up on the ship! What next, the beds eat us?" The male face on the screen ignored him. "Listen, I seem to be picking up two life forms. They're going to be on the ship fairly soon. You'd better check it out" Cat looked around. "What? You expect me to greet unknown life forms? I might wrinkle my suit!" "Oh, come on, Cat. What can happen?" Rimmer turned to face his shipmates. "Well, Lister, we could be eaten alive" Holly, irritated with Rimmer's babbling, cut in with more news. "I don't think you'll have to worry about that. They're human, from what I can read on them. Not sure how they got here, or where they're from though" "Yeah, you never seem to know, do you, you smegging machine?" Holly took away Rimmer's hair completely. Lister and Cat chuckled at Holly's revenge. Lister got up from his seat. "Okay, Hol, we'll check it out. Besides, new faces may be what we need. Especially if they're lonely women!" "No, I don't think so. They seem to be male, from my readings" Cat's smile disappeared. "Smeg. More grown men, lonely in space. I'm just beginning to consider hating this" Rimmer was about to exit the room, when he noticed something out of place. Wasn't the room, or its occupants. Then he caught on. He felt his bald scalp. "HOLLY!!!! Okay, Holly, I'm sorry. I guess I should have learned after the first time you did this, but either way, I'm sorry" His hair appeared back on his scalp. Lister waited by the door, Cat standing next to him. "Come on, Rimmer! We don't want to miss the fun! Besides, they may be able to help us get home!" 3:54 PM, Drive Room They stared at the inner wall. Or, what used to be the inner wall, as the inner wall was no longer there. The metal extended into a raw, silver stone, blending into black as the tunnel went on. Holly's face on the monitor was barely visible as a flash of light hit the entire room. As the flash cleared, two men stepped out, in to the room. Lister and Cat rubbed the flash from their eyes. Rimmer crept back through the door, after he had jumped back in fright. They watched as the strange passage disappeared, leaving only a familiar gray wall where it had opened up. Jack looked around. "Cletus.....we're not in the caves anymore" He saw the three men. Seeing no threat, he holstered his shotgun. One of them, a man in a tan uniform, stepped forward. "Greetings! Arnold J. Rimmer, captain of this ship. Who might you be" "I'm Jack, this is Cletus Kasady. Just where are we, and who..." Jack had reached out to grab the captain by his right hand, but to no avail. His own hand passed right through the man. "....are you?" "Oh, I must apologize. I am a hologram. I can not touch anything" Cletus eyes the captain over. "Captain.....why does your badge say 'Second Technician'?" Rimmer turned to the red haired stranger. "Oh, that! Nothing, really.....just haven't received my new title tag yet, is all....." "Jack, I don't think he's a captain" Lister moved towards the two. He'd had enough of Rimmer's ego trip. "He's not. It says 'Second Tech' because that's what he is. And he's a smeg head. Name's Lister....that's the Cat" Jack shook the man's hand. He felt a slight tapping on his shoulder. Jack turned his head to see what Cletus wanted. "Cletus......it's a big, floating head..." "I know Jack...." Holly stared on in shock. "I don't believe this! I'm a highly sophisticated computer with an IQ of 6000, and they call me a big, floating head!" Lister walked over to the screen. "Just ignore it, Hol. Anyway, I bet you want to find out more about what's going on." "Riiiight.....Cletus, you go with him. I'll stay here and find out what I can from the computer here" Lister and Cat walked towards Cletus. "Come on. Me and the Cat will show you around" Rimmer rose his head. "Lister, what about me?" The three walked out of the room, ignoring Rimmer's plea for attention. "Fine, you stupid gits! Now then....Jack, was it? Ask away!" "All right. What is this?" Holly stared at the young man. "You are on the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel Red Dwarf. The crew is dead. The only ones alive are Dave Lister, third technician, and the Cat. He is not named Cat, he IS a cat. Evolved, of course. And Arnold Rimmer, a hologram projection of Lister's dead bunk mate" "Whoa, whoa....Jupiter mining? Space vessel? No, no. These don't exist! This has to be some secret underground room or somethin'!" "To put it simply, you came here through a rip in space and time. Rare, but they happen. Now, we should determine if you are from the past, or future. What planet are you from?" "Earth. Like there are humans anywhere else?" "Okay. What year was it last you can recall?" "Oh hell.....April 28, year 2002. A THURSDAY!" "Well, you are from the past then" "How....far?" "....give or take a few centuries and decades....." Cletus walked down the pipe-lined hall. His two new companions beside him. "Okay......Lister, was it? What now?" "Just follow me and the Cat. We'll find you an empty bunk and show you all the important stuff" "Yes, and those clothes too! OOOWWWWWW! You need some style, my man!" "Right, whatever. How big is this place, anyway?" "The size of a smeggin' city! Five miles long and what have you!" Cletus slowed down. Five miles of this, corridors and pipes. "Well....at least we'll have-" "THREE MILLION YEARS!!!????" The three turned around. It had come from the drive room. Cletus ran back, Lister and Cat following behind. They ran through the doorway. "C...C....Cletus..THIS THING SAYS WE WENT THREE....TH....THREE M...M....M.... MILLION YEARS! THREE MILLION YEARS FORWARD!" Cletus turned his head to face Lister. "Let me get this straight, Lister.....we are THREE MILLION YEARS IN THE FUTURE?" Lister drew back. The man had screamed right in his ear. "Yes, you are. Too smeggin' bad! I got used to it!" Jack pointed at Holly. "Okay.....so this isn't the first time you opened one of those things and drug someone here...." "No, you've got it all wrong! No one on this ship opened it. It opened on its own! A freak occurrence. We didn't open it, and we can't open it. I'm sorry, but these things sometimes happen throughout the universe. Over the last three million years, I've seen lots of things like this, floating around out here..." Jack turned to face Rimmer. "Okay, flashlight! TALK!" "Right....well, we're not too far ahead in time from where you're from. You see, Lister was stuck in stasis for eighteen months for bringing an unquarantined animal on board. During that time, the crew, including myself, were wiped out in a Cadmium II radiation leak. Completely unrelated to my incorrectly fixing a drive plate, mind you! Anyway, in that three million years, Lister remained in stasis, and his cat was sealed safely in the cargo hold, where it gave birth and over that time, that litter grew and evolved." "Oooookay....then. Cletus, let's go hang ourselves" "Good idea. Lister, Rimmer, whatever, nice to have met you. Good bye!" Lister blocked their way. "Hold on a smeggin's second! Sure, the news may seem bad now, but it's not so bad! Meself, when I found out, I almost flipped too! But it's actually fairly easy! We have this whole ship to ourselves. We can do whatever the smeg we want! It's a new life, new beginnin'!" Jack turned to his partner-in-false-crime. "Cletus, he may be right. I know it's not what we hoped for, but it may not be so bad" "Maybe. But can we get home?" Holly ducked his head down. Popping back up, he had an answer. "It's possible. If we can find another tunnel with the same energy syntax as the one that opened on the ship. It will be a long shot, but it could be done. Meanwhile, I'd suggest you get settled in here" Jack accepted the answer. He turned to Lister and Cat. "Okay, you three, what now?" Lister smiled. "We party" 4:09 PM, ship's disco It was a small party. Nothing big, of course. But with some newcomers to the ship, Lister saw it as a big event. Actually, any excuse to party was good enough for him. Cletus sat at a table with Lister. "So, is this all you do here?" "Pretty much. Nothin' else to do, really. Might as well enjoy it!" "What's with the hologram?" He pointed to Rimmer, who was sitting at the back table. "Oh, he's just a borin' smeghead. Ignore 'im" Lister drank a glass of lager. Cletus contemplated doing the same. He hadn't noticed Jack talking with the Cat at the bar. "So....you're an evolved cat?" "That's right! No monkey genes for me! OOOWWWW!" "Ooookay..." "By the way, did I tell you I like your suit? It needs a little work, but you are dressed to kill, my man!" "Oh, yeah. I wear it for the function more than style, but it's not ugly" "What is that coat made of? Leather?" "Bullet-proof synthetic" "It's unique! Come on, we need to hit the dance floor!" Jack's expression turned sour. "...dance?" "WHAT? You're tellin' me you can't dance?" "Never needed to!" "Well, come on! We need to get you into a groove!" They stepped out to the small dance area. "Now, do as I do" Cat spun on his left heel. Jack did the same. "Good! We'll take it slow, then get you movin'!" Cletus continued to stare at his glass. Contemplating becoming drunk to celebrate, something else hit him. A thought they should have followed up on when they arrived. "Uhh.....Holly.....did anyone else come through that vortex?" "Let me check....no. Nothing I can tell, anyway. There was a slight surge when it opened, I guess anything could have happened. But no, the only people here are the ones in this room. Oh, and there's Arnold Rimmer too" "Thank you" Lister sat down an empty glass, which he had just emptied down his throat. "Anyone else?" "Yeah. We were chasing someone when we entered that tunnel. I guess he must have just missed being pulled in himself" "Oh. Well, you can explain it all later. Just drink your lager!" Cletus picked the glass up and drank the brown liquid. Jack and Cat stepped up as he sat the mug down. Rimmer had also joined him, leaving his party of self-pity behind. "Cletus....one question. Where are we going to stay?" Cletus turned from his partner to his new shipmate. "Yes, Lister. Where are we going to stay?" "That's easy. There are lots of empty quarters on this ship. Pick one. I'll gladly kick Rimmer out if you want!" Rimmer's eyes widened. "THE SMEG YOU WILL!" Cat grabbed Jack by the shoulder. "You can stay with me. We can train you in the art of style and self-appreciation! Besides, I have more room than one of the monkey's rooms!" Cletus stood. "I'll find an empty room" Lister stood as well. "Then it's settled! Welcome to Red Dwarf!" "It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere, I'm all alone, more or less, Let me fly, far away from here, Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun... I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose, Drinking fresh mango juice, Goldfish shoals, nibbling at my toes, Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun... Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun..." Author's Notes: This is set between the Red Dwarf season 2 episodes "Thanks for the Memory" and "Stasis Leak". I went with season 2 to use the male "Normal Lovett" Holly. I knew I'd lose Kryten this way, but oh well. Notes: Basically set in the Marvel Universe, I will be using a lot of my own continuity for this series, and generally focus on the main characters. Appearances by Marvel's universe will be special occurrences. Crossovers with characters/titles from other companies will be treated as "single universe", not as "2 universes crossing temporarily". I will also try to ignore major Marvel comic story arcs. Cletus Kasady, Carnage, and other Marvel characters are copyright Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc. Other characters are either my creation(copyright myself), or copyright their specific owners if non- Marvel licensed characters. Characters used without permission/not for profit. These are strictly fan stories. Permission to reprint extends to placing this text, unaltered, elsewhere online. It may not be altered, and especially NOT TO BE SOLD, unless Marvel wishes to license this series from me.